San Diego Sober Living - Recovery

Recovery Red Flags: Key Things to Avoid on Your Journey to Sobriety

Country music superstar Darius Rucker has won many awards and sold millions of records since Hootie & the Blowfish, his original college rock band, went on hiatus in 2008. In May 2024, Rucker published a memoir that explained what caused his band to stop performing for eight years while he continued enjoying substantial acclaim in country music. At the time, he was abusing liquor, cocaine, and MDMA. His addiction was getting in the way of musical performance, so he requested a separate tour bus to go “cold turkey.” Rucker wanted to avoid liquor and drugs while on the road. He thought doing so would help him recover, but his wiser bandmates knew he had to avoid touring altogether.

Long-Term Recovery: More than Substance Avoidance

Addiction isn’t a binary condition. Simply staying away from psychoactive substances to conquer addiction isn’t a recovery strategy that will work for everyone. If you want to be pragmatic about it, avoiding substances that can hook you into addiction is a solid step toward recovery, but this avoidance by itself won’t result in sobriety. 

Alcoholics who prefer abstinence to moderation can tell you about many other aspects of life they had to avoid as they recovered. This is what members of Hootie & the Blowfish had in mind when they told Rucker a separate “cold turkey tour bus” wasn’t the solution to his addiction.

Avoidance as a Practical Coping Mechanism

Addiction recovery involves learning various life skills conducive to sobriety. This has been the case since the early Alcoholics Anonymous meetings convened in 1935. Learning about coping mechanisms and how to effectively apply them is a crucial life skill, and avoidance is the most practical mechanism. 

Think about the adage “Old habits die hard.” It means doing everything in your power to erase those habits, and it means avoiding certain people, places, and things until your coping mechanisms advance to higher levels. What you need to avoid are triggers.

Avoiding New Relationships

You’ll hear this advice from your AA group, counselors, and fellow residents at your Encinitas sober living home. The basis for not getting into romantic relationships isn’t that you can’t handle them. The problem is the potential to go through heartbreak if things don’t work out, which often triggers a relapse. The rule of thumb is to give yourself a year before pursuing relationships so you can deal with heartbreak without turning to substance abuse.

Avoiding Self-Blame & Being Hard on Yourself

You may hear AA group members say “We will love you until you learn to love yourself,” and this expression is firmly rooted in the reality of recovery, particularly if you’ve been shamed. If you blame yourself for trivial things that go wrong in your life, your journey to recovery will only get longer and harder. You must learn to be easier on yourself after going through the first of the 12 steps. This is possible when you accept addiction left you powerless, but you must also accept human shortcomings aren’t absent from the recovery process.

If you’re newly sober and you need help with avoiding relapse, call on the compassionate team at Casa Pacifica. Along with providing Encinitas men’s sober living, we work with our individual residents to develop customized plans that integrate treatment, aftercare, and recovery support. Our services include sober companionship, coaching, and mentorship for those who are recovering from addiction to alcohol and other drugs. For more information about our sober living facilities, call us today.